Alone

biggest fear
greatest fear

you lie awake
on the sidewalk
making snow angels
on the concrete
& the discarded gum
& fast food wrappers
& watch the people
in the big city
walk right on by

this all-assuming arrest
of the heart & mind

you drive
through the Great Plains
where nothing grows
but rough grass
& ever-widening sky
& take pictures
of sacred burial grounds
in search of everything
you already haven’t

this colossal feeling
called alone

you run marathons
because you think
nothing can catch up
to you not even feelings
of guilt of shame of remorse
for thinking you could
ever take on something
so big & scary

such a small
small piece of life

alone

Chad W. Lutz was born in Akron, Ohio, in 1986 and raised in the neighboring suburb of Stow. They graduated from Kent State University with their BA in English in 2008 and from Mills College in Oakland, California, with their MFA in Creative Writing in 2018. Their first book, For the Time Being, is slated for publication on March 20 2020 via J. New Books.