Ashly Curtis

Peter Pan Yawning in the Sun

Translucent yarns pool in clear broth,
echo tears swimming behind my eyes
as you stare into them from across the table,
slurping noodles like a schoolboy,
spooning the salt and spice between bites
of chicken and jalapeño pepper,
sweat beading on the arch of your brow.
 
(I don’t yet know this is the only time
I will ever eat pho with you. Months pass,
Styrofoam container long since tossed,
but the fork’s still in my car, somewhere
gritty with flavor.)
 
The way we say goodbye, like we know
we’ll never see each other again, and don’t care.
Hurried; I’m on my way somewhere. We don’t
even hug. Or, we do so fast, we both forget. 
 
Eight hours later, I am in the back row
at a Taylor Swift concert in Minneapolis.
The air is heavy, sticky with the breath
of 60,000 voices all saying the same thing. 
Still, the confetti rises up to greet us & we reach 
out our fingertips, try to catch a piece of the night.


Ashly Curtis is a book professional and aspiring poet living in the Midwest. She serves as a poetry reader on local literary journal Barstow & Grand and is Co-Editor-in-Chief for online literary journal The Green Light. Her work can be found in twig, Barstow & Grand, Wisconsin Fellowship of Poets Calendar (2018 and 2019), and Cold Creek Review.

Kate Wright

A Picture of My Ex’s Feet Show Up on Instagram and They Look Like They’re Covered in Blood

The rivulets that branch 

from his soles and down 

the bleach white concrete— 

a delta of deep red 

spread in their wake— 

upon closer inspection,  

are not blood, but grape juice.

The scabs that speckle 

his toes, ankles, and legs:

the thick purple-black skin

of Cabernet, Carmenere,  

Malbec—mashed. I imagine  

him standing up to his knees

in soft round bodies, his shudder

of anticipation, then, the violence 

of the step: the pressure, mutilation— 

the finished husks discarded; 

the juices saved, fermented, 

stored and drunk for pleasure.


Kate Wright received her BA and MA in English from Penn State University. She is currently pursuing her MFA in Creative Writing and Environment from Iowa State University. Her work has appeared in or is forthcoming from Up the Staircase Quarterly, Rust + Moth, Ghost City Review, Rogue Agent, and elsewhere. You can find her on Twitter @KateWrightPoet

Aline Mello

But Be Transformed

A tadpole becomes a frog. A caterpillar: butterfly,
moth. The body becomes more when we let it.
When we’re not afraid. But does the butterfly
 
dream of bark against her torso, does she miss 
the security of land? In the dark, when the flies
are asleep and the night has stopped buzzing,
 
does the frog dive under the lily pads, does he try
to swim without legs?
 
I paint my nails blue and wish for days
when dark nails meant demons.
 
I sip dark liquor and wonder what I’m opening
my body to. God, so preoccupied 
with my nails and skirt length, distracted from
 
my prayers, eyebrows raised at my piercings—
what should I become for you?


Aline Mello is a Brazilian writer and editor living in Atlanta. She is an Undocupoet fellow and her work has been published or is upcoming in The New Republic, Atlanta Review, Grist, and elsewhere.

s.g. maldonado-vélez

that heart is my heart

the whites of our eyes             our scleras turn into                
clouds cirrostratus                   a temperate illusion
that when it comes                  down to it doesn’t mean excuse
 
you ask me what                     i remember of the aristophanes
play where the chorus             says shake from our
deathless shapes                      the mist of rain
 
and i say not much                  because i only skimmed
it along with most                   books  you smile and say
the flowers we stole                this morning for my vase
 
will burn off in the kiln            leaving no trace or evidence
except indentations                 no court of law would accept
we try to hangupside              down from the shower rod
 
both transfixed                        on the mist above the bathtub
it’s fifty degrees outside         warmest day this week
so you open                             the bathroom windows
 
i tell myself i will try              to finish whatever i read next
which turns out to be              an article about
a couple in a cage                    and it feels odd
that i’m so confident               
we’re not going                       
to die here


s.g. maldonado-vélez is a Puerto Rican poet who is currently an MFA candidate in poetry at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. Their chapbook no matter what you say spotify playlists are not mixtapes, with illustrations by Stephanie Francis, was a part of the Ghost City Press 2018 Micro-Chapbook Series. s.g. has been published in Zoomoozophone Review, the Shade Journal, and Peach Mag. They can be found on Twitter @M00NP0ET and a number of other projects at sgmaldonadovelez.com. They strongly believe that we share hearts.

George Briggs

4:32 AM: Police respond to reports of individual on the Mt. Hope Bridge. Individual is taken into custody for their own safety.

It's not so hard to sit on the bridge
legs adangle in the oncoming - safe as an iceberg
bare skin prickled in the fog
 
when, like those thrilled words,
a gesture reverberates, ripples away
legs adangle, safe as an iceberg
 
without tethering the world, play
of the fainting sun on water
a gesture reverberates, ripples away
 
the bay is a sister, the bridge a father
a ribcage - faintly shuddering, menace
of this fainting sun on water
 
where right angles and aching skin, then is
a nothingness above another nothing?
a ribcage - faintly shuddering, menace
 
why does a body plummet, break, or sing?
it's not so easy to stay on a bridge
a nothingness above another nothing
bare skin prickling in fog


George Briggs is a high school teacher from Rhode Island. His writing has appeared in The Mystic Blue Review, Isacoustic*, and Sportsalcohol.com.

Catherine Windham

summer of ‘13

i ate a fox head, once, in the same home that i shot a deer, in the same home that i gnawed off my leg like a bitch cause it was causing problems; i dreamt of a two headed rabbit that broke its own limbs in the same home that i prophesied the removal of my teeth with a pair of pliers, in the same home that i felt the presence of a man before i knew he lived under my sheets & in my shower, in the same home that i held a gun like you’re taught to and let the wasps sting me and felt the fear so often that i didn’t feel it; like a tumor i ate at myself and the things around me til it seemed that ants had infested the home, famished with weight and fury, and nothing whole was left.


Catherine Windham is a poet on the east coast who appreciates her cat, used bookstores, and borrowing t-shirts with few intentions of returning them. Her work is published in Pulp Poet’s Press and Tongue Tied Mag, among other places, and she can be found on twitter at @healingsoft.

Tom Snarsky

Sonatina With A Theme From “Conjugal Burns” 

Eight hours of sleep later and I'm still a bag of crucial nonsense in
an airport terminal waiting to be rescued from nothing in particular by
the love of my life who's directing this film and taking it toward an
antipastoral idiom like in Twin Peaks or Three Billboards Outside
Ebbing, Missouri
both of which I hope to write an essay on soon it
will probably be less about love and more about violence but then
you never know with half-baked essay ideas where they'll really go 
 
Ashbery said “It's fine, in summer, to visit the seashore.” but really
he probably only said that after he wrote it and he may not have even
written exactly that since I'm quoting “My Philosophy of Life” from
memory (even the title) which is always a risky business if it's been a
while since you and the poem have breathed each other (and it has)
though I insist on this approach because I refuse to work to make
this happen I trust my gut I write with my unvarnished stupid head 
 
on Nightmare Mode and I fire my unlimited ammunition into the
air because while playing the game I pressed L + R + Down, L + 
C-Left, L + C-Right, L + R + C-Left, L + Down, L + C-Down, R + 
C-Left, L + R + C-Right, R + Up, L + C-Left to get all guns and 
then I pressed L + R + C-Right, R + Up, R + Down, R + Down, L + 
R + C-Right, L + R + Left, R + Down, R + Up, L + R + C-Right, R + 
Left to get maximum ammo so now all kinds of rounds are flying 
 
into the pixelated sky and I'm still in America so there'll be no con-
sequences for either the waste or the dangerous falling debris we 
endure daily like death on the periphery or the recorded voice of

a loved one who died that you keep on your voicemail box for the

odd day when you need to hear it twice in your car before you get

out and get on with the day though probably it's night by then you've
had the day it tired you out and now there is only the promise of sleep


Massachusetts, USA. He is the author of Threshold, a chapbook of poems available from Another New Calligraphy. He lives in Chelsea, MA with his wife Kristi and their two cats, Niles and Daphne.

Grace Yannotta

A Selection in Contemporary Classical Instrumentation

I. for SudoName’s “Moonsetter”

It requires a nimbleness of fingers as well as a nimbleness of the tongue. An absurd little jig. Pupils dilate and there. What glory lies within winding down, within the glimpse of a pale ankle, with a tarantula and a ragged little gasp. I see a tear fall down your face in the driver’s seat and I wipe it away. My thumbnail is broken. An amateur cardiac arrest, ribs disappointingly brittle, I have to wonder how long they will last -- the wave crashes against the shore but the wind whips the sand into your eyes nonetheless. Advanced vocabulary is a requirement and thoughts evolve into gales until you’re capable of breathing again. Lovingly omniscient. Catharsis? One day we’ll arrive.

 

II. for Andrea and Ennio Morricone’s “Cinema Paradiso”

A tragedy only the Victorians could comprehend.  How long can a lithe neck stretch and how often, how deleteriously, can my thoughts drift back to you? How many golden daydreams will haunt me and how is it possible to mourn for a life that was never known? I will crumble for you then and I will crumble for you now. Dusty mosaics and creased clay, it wraps its effervescence around my throat and lingers there. Until I listen. Until I understand. Until my eyes water and bend, break, sigh. Fresh satin and it dances against a violet sky -- a violent sky. Hair raising on arms, in anticipation, in trepidation, the violins fully prepared to swallow us whole and I’m prepared to let them.

 

III. for Justin Hurwitz and Tim Simonec’s “When I Wake” 

The most repetitive dream consisting of lightness on the earth, on the ground, in pointy-nosed stiletto heels. Brown-eyed woman in indigo-tinted kohl, her waterlines left raw and pale. You’re jolted, the trill of a stunted laugh ricocheting off the crowds, because you know it you hear it you feel it and the backs of your eyelids alert you -- you’re somewhere else. Arteries sway to the beat. A glint of white teeth and a contagion. That’s it, a glittery contagion, a tickled lung, I like that you’re smiling now. I like that you’re here, now, you’re present, now, because what is now, really? What a lovely, decent reminder that time is circular. That you’re here just as heavily as I am.

 

 IV. for The Chamber Orchestra of London’s “Emancipation”

Blinking at the glint of light bouncing off the windowpane, it’s as if every leafed edge, every fluttering iris has chosen to fall still at an exact moment. Each skyline, each wave encapsulated in your wrist, in your winding veins and the rise and spike of your breath. Figures and pas-de-bourrés, what elegance and extravagance, my mouth watering for bread, for energy, for a little taste of wine. You’ve been blessed before. The wrinkle between the corner of your eye and the curve of your brow tells me you still are. Watch with envy. Remarkable, almost, that the weak muscles in your calves are capable of this brand of mischief. It’s your emerald eyes. Ghost of a sigh against a deaf ear.

 

V. for Andrew Bird’s “Down Under the Hyperion Bridge”

And now, everything is still. And now, it’s time to sleep. Each ligament rushing to freeze and you blink your gaze to the western sky. You love when you hear them sing. They say your ancestors stand behind you and you have to wonder if their hands rest on your shoulders. In circles, in spheres, in the click of a rapid pulse, and the way your eyes begin to water all in one sitting. Because you’re not sad. You just are. Jaws unclench. How delicate all of us truly are. It’s a fact to be embraced, each goosebump tickled with the smallest of kisses. Have you always prevailed like this? I’m sure, I’m certain, as the sun peeks out the smallest of whispers. Your footsteps have touched these steps before.


Grace Yannotta is a freshman at UNC, double majoring in English and History. She has work published or forthcoming in Parhelion LitThe Stay ProjectPider Mag,Rabid OakMojave Heart Review, and Rise Up Review, among others. You can find her on Twitter @lgyanno.

Darren C. Demaree

EMILY AS WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE SPIRIT

The only wealthy people
I respect
have freed their horses.

 

EMILY AS A SCENE BETWEEN OUR LOVE

Illuminated
by the silence,
Emily
 
memorized
my catalog
of losses
 
without 
promising
me the language
 
to follow
her system.
It’s okay.
 
Emily says,
it’s okay.
I believe her.
 
What gets lost
can stay lost
from me.

 

EMILY AS WHERE THE CURVE LEADS

If 
it’s 
Emily
 
it 
doesn’t
matter.
 
Just 
hold
on.


Darren C. Demaree is the author of eleven poetry collections, most recently Emily As Sometimes the Forest Wants the Fire, (June 2019, Harpoon Books). He is the recipient of a 2018 Ohio Arts Council Individual Excellence Award, the Louis Bogan Award from Trio House Press, and the Nancy Dew Taylor Award from Emrys Journal. He is the Managing Editor of the Best of the Net Anthology and Ovenbird Poetry. He is currently living in Columbus, Ohio with his wife and children.

Andrew Hahn

Men Worth Forgetting

My friend Madison asks me to count the men
I’ve slept with    but I lose count.     I don’t mean to
be this way as often as I am.
 
I forget I once met a man at his office
near my parents’ house.    He told me to get on my knees
on the thin carpet
 
then bent me over.   I hated him for believing his dick
was bigger than it was  :  Tops can be so delusional
but that is the price of men.    I hated him
 
for shoving himself into me dry.     I screamed
hoping the neighbors wouldn’t hear,    but who was I 
protecting?    Him?    The way
 
society strips and bends over for mediocre dick?
I clean myself in the bathroom.     He says, Had trouble
didn’t you?
     I blocked him when I left.
 
I deleted Grindr.    I channeled my rage into working
out my glutes.     I tell my friend Madison I’ve slept with fourteen
people but I know it’s a lie.
 
I hardly sleep with men because I want to find love.
I sleep with men because they want me     which is better
than how my father acts these days.
 
Lying up at midnight, I feel lonely.     I re-download Grindr
for the attention.    The man from the office messages me,
Hey, I’ve missed you, boy.


Andrew Hahn’s work has been featured in Crab Creek Review, Rappahannock Review, Pithead Chapel, Glass: A Journal of Poetry, and Yes, Poetry among others. His chapbook GOD’S BOY is forthcoming from Sibling Rivalry Press in November 2019.

Ellen Huang

Rapunzel Considers the Stolen Years

The tower is magical from the outside. 
For the prince has found golden stairs to heaven
unlocked a bird from its cage
unbraided the python hair coiled about me
discovered in the heights, a singing harp of gold. 
 
On the inside, nothing happens. 
From the window to the roof—if my bare feet and nimble toes dare—
that is the extent of my travels. My eyes imagine further
to the far country where the sunsets actually shine.
 
I have never known trees could give shade
nor rivers could babble gossip and peace in one place
But so they did for my mother who kept me
whispering, purity, purity, purity.
 
I was to be kept from the fallen scraped knee at cobblestone
roads, cat scratches, wrenched  and twisted
heart, illness, phobias, the height of epiphany, 
the fall that comes after pride, and grief. 
And men. 
 
She cut the hair and let the adventurer fall to the brambles. 
I had never even known scissors caused no pain to hair. 
I had grown up believing hair never grew back. 
With her own cry stifled and swallowed, she smiles and 
bakes cookies and pretends my hair is only so short 
because we have reversed time and age, 
and the only thing there is to learn is forgetting. 
Tragedy only happens outside the tower.  
She has already blinded me.


Ellen Huang has a BA in Writing and a minor in Theatre from Point Loma Nazarene University. She is published in over 30 venues, including South Broadway Ghost Society, Awkward Mermaid, Sirens Call, Diverging Magazine, HerStry, Ink & Nebula, Rigorous Magazine, and Apparition Lit. She enjoys practicing pyrography, swimming in the ocean, wearing capes, reenacting Disney scenes on demand, directing original skits, and staying up way too late. Follow her creative work: worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com

Kunjana Parashar

The Gift

One morning, I dreamt that two witches conjured a big horse
to throw my way, a horse born of river and wind. But I was so 
scared of this gift that the horse shrunk into tiny winged ponies
and just hovered over my head. I felt so grateful and relieved 
to have dodged his large equine scent, and can you imagine
all that hair, and the size of his hooves – and the endless
bags of chickpeas I would have had to feed him, this giant. 
The amount of work it would have taken to bring up 
a magical horse just seemed so impractical. But now that
I am ordinary once again and begging for the dragonflies
outside my window to stop distracting me by cutting
the air like a poem waiting to be written, I wish I had 
accepted the gift – I could have loved that velvet giant,
I could have whispered prophetic poetry in his dark ears. 
He could’ve ran for me. I could’ve been his human mare.


Kunjana Parashar is a poet from Mumbai who holds an MA in English Literature from Mumbai University. Her poetry appears or is forthcoming in The HelleboreLammergeierBarren MagazineThe Rumpus (ENOUGH series), Camwood Literary Magazine, and elsewhere. You can find her on Twitter @wolfwasp.

Carol Everett Adams

Pirates of the Caribbean is the Love Boat’s Last Sailing

By the time our yellow boat 
brings us to the first drop
the air has chilled, mist curled
around us. The tips of your fingers
touch mine for the first time all day.
You slide toward me in the turn and we cross
the harbor. We’re in the thick of it now.
A pirate ducks the mayor, another stirs
his treasure, a woman screams unseen.
She’s been promised an evening she’ll never forget.
You clutch souvenir bags, and I begin to feel your regard for me.
But there’s not much left of the town. Fires eat the timbers, 
pirates eat the bones, test coins with their teeth.
Our little boat sways with effort as we float to the exit.


Carol Everett Adams writes poems about Disney theme parks, organized religion, UFOs, and other topics. She lives in the Midwestern United States and works in the tech industry. Her poems have been published in California QuarterlyEuphonyThe MacGuffinThe New York QuarterlyOwen Wister ReviewQuercus ReviewSoundings EastSweet Tree Review, and others. You can read more of her work at caroleverettadams.com

Kiley Lee

Thoughts on being Giorgio A. Tsoukalos

My hair is so big because it’s full of force fields
How could any other explanation be possible?
One too many visitations would leave any
viewer with questions
How does it get up there?
 
I used to wrestle with my history
shouting at anyone who would listen
I didn’t see them
I can see now
 
I’m not saying it was intentional
but maybe it was
before I really knew
how many stones
were placed in my stomach
with only the heads showing
 
I love the show
The lights
Circles
Life


Kiley Lee is an artist and writer from Almost Heaven, West Virginia. Her poems have appeared in Anti-Heroin Chic, Marias at Sampaguitas, Mojave Heart Review, Animal Heart Press, and Dancing Girl Press among others, and she is currently working on her first chapbook. She lives with her husband near the majestic Ohio River.

Judith Kingston

Signs and Wonders

During the end of the world
she was sleeping with her algebra teacher.
Over the past month she had been showing
more leg and less interest in differential equations.

At home the windows were boarded up.
They ate nothing but soup
with fewer and fewer ingredients.
She lost pounds and all her inhibitions.

He fumbled trying to undo the tiny pearly
buttons on her shirt. She worried about her
tatty knickers and faded bra, wishing she'd
invested in a matching set, but she had thought
such a bold move would mean her daydreams
would definitely never come true.

Plus most places were hard to get to
with all the landmines and barbed wire.

Her clothes were on the floor now and
he was finally inside her, their breathing in sync
with the low whistle in the sky.

The earth moved and three, four houses
fell through the crack and became
one with the hot molten centre of everything.

They lay face to face in the weak sulphurous light.
It could be that there were clean white sheets
on the hospital bed now

but the mind cannot maintain such thoughts
and so her eyes sought out the thin line
of tight black curls that led down
from his navel to the end of the world.


Judith Kingston is a Dutch writer living in the UK. Her poems have been published in various online magazines such as Barren Magazine, Riggwelter, Kissing Dynamite and Piccaroon, as well as the Fly on the Wall Press print anthology Persona Non Grata. Besides writing, she translates, teaches and occasionally narrates audiobooks. 

Sandy Coomer

Advice after Losing a Spouse

For now, breathe.
No need to get ambitious.
Let morning roll over you, 
taste the salt, the grit. Find shade.
Maybe that slim birch just learning 
to sway, kneading the silt of creek bed.
Maybe the white oak with acorn caps
still attached to top branches. 
You might find squirrels. Squirrels are good. 
Don’t try to take in the sky – it’s too wide and high.
You have to sip first, then swallow,
stepwise, methodical. It’s best to go slow.
When you find the cliff, the crumbling
limestone shelves, when your toes hang over
the edge of the high dive, 
I’ve found crows can be helpful –
the sleek wings, glossy eyes seeking 
the hidden glitter, scouring the high grass 
for silver keys, blue glass, a bronze coin.
Distraction works for a time – give yourself 
those freebies. The cost is high for the rest.
You’ll want to save, budget for the days
that take risk, the boulder and avalanche,
all that snow and ice. 
You’ll daydream a lot, shuffle wishes
with might-have-been’s. 
That’s natural. Don’t fight it. 
But don’t argue about fairness. 
You’ll never win that debate. 
Find yourself a cherry tree instead,
stand within its sheltered canopy, behind 
its fringed and fragrant curtain where the light 
is dim and the air is clean and kind.
Breathe and breathe. 
Stay as long as you need to.


Sandy Coomer’s poetry has been published in numerous journals. She is the author of three poetry chapbooks, including Rivers Within Us (Unsolicited Press) and a full-length collection, Available Light (Iris Press). Sandy is a past poetry mentor in the AWP Writer to Writer Mentorship Program, the founding editor of the online poetry journal Rockvale Review, and the director of Rockvale Writers’ Colony. Her favorite word is “believe.” www.sandycoomer.com

Ellie Lamothe

Confections

Kissing 
outside of the north end
neighbourhood dive bar
/local punk show
/hipster donut shop
beneath the grime 
slicked glass
where a woman kneads
dough and scowls
at us
my laughter unspooling
like divine constellations 
desire embodied
in public spaces
behind the street lamps flushed
with dreamy hues
and muffled 
sounds of bass lines 
smoke blooming 
incantatory circles
around the silver speckled youth
nourishing
each other with a slow poison
regurgitating their future
as it spreads out vibrant
and vulnerable in front of them
it feels palpable
now our mouths ripened
and molding tiny buttercream
flowers that melt
in the hot breath 
passed between us like secrets
decadent 
enough to blur time
to salve memories
still feeding on sinew and bone
to forget
the perishable root
of our bodies
lost in consumption


Ellie Lamothe is a Sociology student, activist, and poet living in K’jipuktuk (Halifax, NS). She's passionate about feminism and collective healing, and is the founding editor of Laurels & Bells Literary Journal. Her work has appeared in Glass: A Journal of Poetry (Poets Resist)Kissing Dynamite, and Yes Poetry. You can follow her on Instagram @ellielamothe and Twitter @laurelsandbells.

Brendon Booth-Jones

Ritual

Guitar strings held our innocence in motion,
a rum-hot, pine-scented campfire glow,
one strum at a time.

Until we smashed the guitar to bits,
which seemed like some sort of rite or MTV ritual.
But without the peroxided 90s angst
our self-destruction just felt pitiful.
It’s true: nobody likes you when you’re twenty three.
Not even you. And the splinters!
How they got into our fingers and eyes,
into our mouths and throats, into our speech,
and we worried ourselves sick with all the little teeth.

And meanwhile microplastics gathered in the lungs
of the ancient, graceful whale
as she navigated the lonesome Southern Ocean solo,
with her prehistoric cosmic radar,
her ancestors murmuring darkly
in her huge, grieving heart: my child my child. Beware.


We plunged
into the Levis Jeans Pool
next to the McDonald’s on Big Meat Street
to wash away
the shattered guitar’s needles and shards,
while spiders picked off crickets
in the yard, one fanged-strike at a time,
Nature rolling through her cycle in quiet ferocity.


But later that night, even three valiums deep,
the chlorine-blue chemical sleep
couldn’t keep our little cuts from weeping
red red red onto the sheets,
nor the big whale’s frightened wheezing
out of our dreams.


Brendon Booth-Jones is the general editor of Writer’s Block Magazine in Amsterdam. Brendon’s photographs, poems and prose have appeared in the Peeking Cat Anthology 2018, Anti-Heroin Chic, Amaryllis, Botsotso, Neologism, Odd Magazine, Verdancies, Zigzag and elsewhereFollow Brendon on Facebook @brendonboothjoneswriter.

Heather Cook

Origami War Museum

Speaking no Vietnamese, I enter
the gallery of terror paper.
Fifty-four folds manipulate 
the language of war.
Fold
an American mind on the dotted line
in place of a swan; in place of a crane.
Try not to get a papercut. 
 
In the first room, I intrude
on a battle that was never my own.
Paddling through rumors in Mekong Delta,
I hear the mourning sky sip Vietnam rain
and fold
a map missing its ocean.
No one told me where to stand,
No one told me where my ripples would land.
 
Paper became limbs, then feathers
curled into the air, couldn’t be held:
a newborn narrative valley folded 
into my lungs. Try to breathe.
 
A man with a commanding beard, he
flexed college nouns like stars—to the crease,
he pulled and teased to shape its form
unfold, try again, 
fold
failures into your ears diagonally,
“Americans killed 88% babies.
Why are you here?”
 
In the second room I shuffle to
another gallery dim-lighting the dead
serving liquid-copper air in a star base,
from a single sheet of patterned paper,
they fold 
over the wrinkles of a conversation never had
under the empty space of this hot Monday
Peeling back layers of bibles, bombs,
burnt incense from a wishing well,
I do not belong.
 
Aren’t we all the creases left behind?


Heather Cook is a poet living and working in Buffalo, NY. She is most interested in exploring the ways in which poetry lives off the page. Her work has appeared in East Coast Literary Review, ARTVOICE, NAME Magazine, EskimoPie and other literary journals. When she is not writing, she is dabbling in book art.

Hannah Norris

eating disorder redux

i am 12 years old and my best friend invites 
me over for dinner. her mother cooks us spaghetti, my 
favorite, and my mouth is salivating as soon as we sit down. 
my friend scoops up a small amount and i watch her, intently, 
as she places exactly one piece of bread and a much bigger 
serving of steamed broccoli on her plate. i have not eaten 
since lunch and i could have devoured everything that was on 
the table. instead i match her portions exactly and scarf mine 
down in record time. i wait for her to finish so i can take 
seconds, but she slowly finishes her first plate and then proclaims 
to be “so full.” i go to sleep dreaming of giant meatballs and 
buckets of garlic bread. 
 
i am 18 years old and i can’t remember the last time i had a 
proper meal. i live off of of diet coke, iced coffee, and rice cakes 
with hot sauce. i never sleep but i feel strong and my mind is clear. 
a voice deep inside is telling me to eat but i tell them to shove it, 
and ignore the tantalizing smells all around me. it is a common 
misconception that people with eating disorders hate food. i’m 
obsessed with food. if i am the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, 
then food is being late. i wish i could stop the internal calculator 
inside my head but it’s got a mind all of its own. i’ve tried turning it 
off and taking out the batteries, but somehow, it still always works. 

 
i am 24 years old and driving to my boyfriend’s apartment. i promised 
to pick up dinner on my way home from work, so i stop at the 
grocery store. i grab a pepperoni pizza from the take and bake 
section and for good measure i grab a sandwich. i park outside his
his place and stuff my face with it so i can have exactly 2 slices
of the pizza then exclaim that i’m full. i’ve learned to never be hungry 
in front of others.
 
i am 8 years old and my grandmother gives me a Little Debbie swiss 
roll, my favorite dessert. she always has it on hand just for me. i want 
another, i always want another, but my parents say no. maybe this is why 
i can’t buy them anymore. no one is there to tell me stop, so i eat them until
i’ve finished the whole box. 
 
i am 21 years old and hunched over the side of the toilet. i 
told myself i was going to stop after this one, last binge. the 
problem with starving yourself is that once you stop you 
become insatiable. pizza, crackers, ice cream and chips. 
the food has to go somewhere, it can’t all fit inside me no 
matter how hard i try to fill in all the empty spaces. 
 
i am 15 years old and my two best friends in the world 
are the ideal: short and petite. not only am i tall for a girl, 
but i never got rid of the baby fat everyone assured me 
i would outgrow. i am a monster standing next to perfectly
proportioned Barbie dolls. the thing that pretty little girls are 
afraid of becoming. when we would get ready together, i would 
spend the time staring longingly at their slender thighs and flat 
tummies believing more than anything that this, must be 
what happiness looks like. and i‘ve been chasing that ever since.


Hannah Norris is a 26 year old PNW native who holds a BA in Music Production. She spends her time performing in the comedy group she co-founded, Cracks Fics Live, writing, and rewatching The Office. She has been featured in the volume 7 from Water Soup Press and twice on the online lit mag Words Dance