My Father’s Burgundy Pajamas
The first time I saw my father in pajamas was that time he didn’t die.
My father always dressed properly: undershirt and button-down neatly tucked into belted pants that were expertly hemmed and ironed.
He was wary of public spaces where people wore skin-revealing clothing, hearts on their sleeves. And he rarely acknowledged bodily functions—even sleep. He apologized for sneezing and was mortified when his nose ran. I don’t think he would have survived a public fart.
That one time he didn’t die was when his own father passed. After weeks of sleepless nights in a sickroom, unwilling to call his boss and acknowledge a death in the family, he decided to postpone grief and drive to his quotidian meeting.
He never made it to work.
He fell asleep at the wheel and awoke by the wrong side of a country road. He had no recollection of crashing or even climbing out of a car so smashed nobody could find an unmiraculous explanation for how he made it out alive, let alone unharmed.
A week later, I saw him in a pasture talking to a cowhand while wearing burgundy cotton pajamas. I wondered if he’d hit his head. Maybe the crash had dislodged his personality.
When I find myself cinching belts and tucking away unconventional aspirations, I remember what he said in response to my cautious inquiry as I examined pupils that showed no sign of abnormality: Life is too often wasted on the living.
That’s what he said, his burgundy cotton pajamas sticking out like a giant misplaced flower in a green field, that one time he didn’t die.
Amy Marques grew up between languages and cultures and learned, from an early age, the multiplicity of narratives. She penned three children’s books, barely read medical papers, and numerous letters before turning to short fiction. Her work has been published or is forthcoming in anthologies and journals including Star82 Review, Jellyfish Review, MoonPark Review, Flying South, Streetcake: Experimental Writing Magazine, and Sky Island Journal. You can find her at @amybookwhisper1 or read more of her words at https://amybookwhisperer.wordpress.com.