Flight Risk

I wanted a flock of hummingbirds to burst
through my skin, threaten to undo me.
But when he kissed me it was only flesh,

tentative lips & a hand to cheek, hand to waist,
an easy caress, like stroking a flower petal. I fluttered
when he kissed my thigh, bit my tongue instead of asking

for more. Memorized ceiling patterns when he burrowed
between my legs. & yes, there was that tight heat, that coil
in my lower stomach pulled taut before unspooling.

& it was all just fine, bodies moving like bodies are told
to move. He was kind & we laughed between kisses
when he struggled with my bra, an intimacy I’ve run from

since the last heartbreak. I didn’t think I could have it again,
even if only this once. This isn’t like me, to unfurl for a man
so soon. I didn’t think I could do it, didn’t think I wanted it.

But it was nice to be wanted. To see desire pooled in his irises
when he looked up at me. I could almost touch the clouds
& for a moment, I swear, there were wings.

Jessica Nirvana Ram is an Indo-Guyanese poet and essayist. She received her MFA from the University of North Carolina Wilmington, and her BA from Susquehanna University. Her work appears or is forthcoming in Hayden's Ferry Review, Honey Literary, Chicago Quarterly, and Prairie Schooner, among others. You can find her on Twitter @jessnirvanapoet.