Victim Impact Statement
They ask me to measure the impact you have had on my life,
As if I can pull a ruler from my pocket and find meaning
somewhere between tick marks –
As if the fullness of what you have done to me can live
in the space between each inch –
I hate
the imperial system, anyway.
.
The word impact can mean so many things –
A collision. A strike. A hit. A smack. A ram. A touch.
Remind me the difference
between affect and effect again?
.
Victim does a lot of heavy lifting, too.
Am I a victim?
Some call me
a survivor – part of me
survived, at least
(every action has an
equal and opposite –
Does that make you a
Victimizer?)
.
Well I guess we should
dive right in I suppose
the Body Count is a good place
To start with
The body of my childhood
ravaged and gone
The body of my adulthood
broken and infirm and
The bodies of the
children I thought to one day
make with it
Counting a negative feels like
an impossibility so let’s
call it an even infinity
.
I heard once about
Opportunity Cost,
so why don’t we throw that
on the books, as well –
The cost of lost opportunities and
The cost of loss itself and
The price of pennies and
held breaths and
sick days or really
mental health days because
there is no name for
The Sickness of not
being able to
meet your own eyes in
the mirror
.
My Statement is
is that the impact on this victim is
is that the collision of your fist is
is that the strike of your match is
is that the hit of your pipe is
is that the smack of your lips is
is that the ram of your body is
is that the touch of your life is
is that the affect of your effect is
Is
Is this.
Is this enough?
Kaitlin Stone is a writer, yoga teacher, survivor, and wanderer. A graduate of Portland State University with an MFA in creative writing and a registered yoga teacher, Kaitlin strives in all aspects of her life to push for a world that accepts, understands, and supports survivors of trauma. She lives in northern Wyoming with her cat, her beagle, and far too many books. Her work has appeared in The Gravity of the Thing, nominated for 2022 Best of the Net, as a finalist for Carve Magazine's 2022 Prose & Poetry contest, and as a semifinalist for North American Review's 2022 Terry Tempest Williams Prize in Creative Nonfiction.