I love New York

I love New York
I still hate everyone from New Hampshire
that volume of rejection was formative
and traumatizing
I don't hate anyone who didn't
reject me, lol
New Hampshire pettiness follows me
around
here i'm on my second close friend group
holding my breath
wondering the craziness
with which it ends
maybe like Michelle covered in grief
yelling at me —
I didn't know
and when I found out I still
didn't know
my poem about not knowing
was published online
but media people never like me with any
longevity, either
and so it goes
psychotic popularity contest
I'm losing state to state

Polina Riabova is a queer Brooklyn-based poet, writer and performance artist originally from Kupavna, Moskovskaya Oblast, Russia. She is the co-founder of Borrowed Birds Records, director of programming at The Ear and Editor-In-Chief of PLASTER COCKTAIL zine.