false friends
Did you know that calculator comes from the same
Latin root as calculus, meaning limits,
meaning the point at which something no longer
passes, meaning to generate an infinite number of
solutions that will never seem correct, meaning brief
failure towards the goals that never really mattered
but always feel like everything?
Did you know that deus ex machina in Latin translates to
god from the machine, which means the ancient grandfather
clock in your living room that never showed the correct
time, which means the spiraling labyrinth of Daedalus,
which means the burning candle wax dripping down from the
feather wings of Icarus, which means the tears of the sky as he fell?
Did you know that I never forgot, never forgot the rise of
the wind as life danced around us in spring, never forgot the
early autumns where hope would fall, never forgot the
crestfallen winters between them? Did you know that I never
remembered the words left unspoken, the seasonal pauses in
friendship, the questions left unanswered?
There is a Latin phrase that I read most recently, that is
dulce est desipere in loco, meaning it is a sweet occasion to
play the fool, meaning it is good to relax once in a while,
meaning it is alright to not understand everything, meaning
the sweet instances before we are gone are always the most lovely,
meaning before Icarus fell, he was the first person to truly see the sun,
meaning before you left, I was the first to understand you.
Did you know that in my broken Latin tongue there are two
modes of pronunciation, so as to differentiate the Latin of the
church and the Latin of the ancient Romans, so as to separate
the pope from Caesar and the Vatican from Rome. Did you know
that the difference is so minor that we still think of my broken
Latin tongue not as foreign but as dead, just like I think of you
and your forgotten memories, you and your remembered silences,
you and your calculated moves, your limited love.
Maya Walker is an avid reader, tea drinker, and lover of words. She is the founder and editor in chief of Fulminare Review as well as an editor for Kalopsia Literary and a staff writer for Immortal Journal. You can read her work at Seaglass Literary, Modern Renaissance Magazine, Ice Lolly Review, and others, or find her at the abyss of ink known colloquially as the Instagram page @maya_whispers_words.