A White Cis Gay Man Writes a Thing About Not Being Beautiful Enough

And I hate being placed back into the bar
In a sea of a hundred-cis, white, gay men
Filing my nails because I know how this goes:
Check my pulse (rapid heartbeat), dab my
Forehead ethnically prone to surface oil,
And double-check I am wearing the correct
Hued button-down that forces my skin, which
Is a few degrees over-colored, to really pop
For affect or love, because the only cis, white,
Gay man is going to ask my ethnicity and say
Yum or That’s hot or Do you have an accent?
In which I’ll respond no and I’ll burst into flames
Because I’ll have realized I have put myself
Into a room where a hundred of these guys
Say they are not beautiful enough while I have
To continue dabbing my forehead with a napkin
Retrieved from the bar to maintain a sense of self.

Anthony Aguero is a queer writer in Los Angeles, CA. His work has appeared, or will appear, in The Bangalore Review, 2River View, The Acentos Review, The Temz Review, Rhino Poetry, Cathexis Northwest Press, 14 Poems, and more.