Anny Chen

Ode to Steamed Egg Custard

After Kevin Young


You are the sun in my mouth.

Three golden yolks swimming

at the bottom of the bowl.

When I pierce the clear membrane

with my fork, the unborn flow

out, waiting to be beaten,

their shiny, viscosity whisked

into ether. You are cloud.

You are smoke. You absorb

whatever I put inside you:

fingernail wisps of scallion,

velvety skin of mushroom,

the pink and white toothy grin

of thinly sliced kamaboko.

But I like you best when

you are pure, light.

A pale-yellow silk river slipping

down my throat, the comfort

of chicken broth, diaphanous

protein. You show me that food

can be air, rising from within, lifting

my spirit up on cardboard wings.

You fed me the day my grandpa died,

floating on a bed of red paper lotuses

inked in a language I inherited,

but is not my own. Soon, our hands

released him into the fire.

Then ash and bones. Chalk-white dust,

lighter than even you. For now,

you are the soft sponge of memory

that burns inside of me. Like a paper lantern,

I drift up into the night sky, only to fold

back down to earth again, a tattered prayer.

You wash over me like music, in waves

of regret, or grief. Or both. We were never

close. Will he see me now? In between

pauses, I hear the sound of Bach’s cello suite

swelling in the background, rocking me

back to the morning of his funeral, as we all

sat still in the dark hall, looking up

at family photos flashing across a screen,

above a constellation of orchids. With the last

bite, you cradle me into a fever-pitched

crescendo, and then I unravel—

one, long, quivering thread of a note to hold

us back together.


Anny Chen is a writer, designer, and illustrator living in Paris, France. She grew up in Taipei, Taiwan, and has lived and worked in New York City and San Francisco. She often finds herself in between languages, identities, cultures, and countries. This mixed-up, beautiful mess can be felt in her work. When she is not tinkering at her desk, she enjoys reading, going on walks, thrifting, eating, and spending time with her husband and three-year-old son. She is a lifelong learner, who loves the thrill of chasing a new creative endeavor.