Attempts at Writing Cards Against Humanity, or Here’s to the Future

Dolphins choking on plastic.

Brothel-hopping with Bill Murray.

Self-published poetry.

Euthanizing a cat on a Friday night.

Glitter.

Masturbating in front of a fun house fat mirror.

Fishbowls full of cockroaches.

Minimalism through arson!

Carbon monoxide poisoning in an Airbnb.

Mindfulness.

Kate McKinnon's magical clit.

Going to Reykjavik to find myself.

Tofu tainted with Listeria.

Justin Bieber's funeral.

That fire at the Kardashians’ mansion.

Kelly Jones is a queer poet, librarian, and educator who currently calls NC home. Lately, they've been spending their spare time binge watching The Good Place and spending quality time with their dog, Mr. Beaux Jangles.