portrait of an nyu freshman in 2011

i buy a pretty picture,
&stare at the wall.
why can’t we enjoy what
’s right in front of
our facesmy emotional register
then binary, true/false,happy/
sad in new york, i
took smiling selfies walking streets,
i would watch homeless people
sleep on park benches&
i just sat next to
them, this is normal some
voice would say, several times
over i refuse to be
alone so i’d buy takeout
binge netflix, &wait for
delivery person to come. if
you can make it here,
you can make it anywhere,
a capitalist once said, writing
i thought, could paint pictures
of me walking down stuyvesant
street, being rich &loved,
simplicity of a spotless mind,
numb to pain. starting out
along a wall, thinking blahs

Anthony AW (@an__o__) is an LA-based writer. His work has been published in The Squawk Back, Drunk Monkeys, among others, & is forthcoming in Soft Cartel & Anti-Heroin Chic. Anthony practiced his writing with Terry Wolverton thru her workshop "Poets at Work" from 2017 to 2018. He currently hosts tête-à-tête, a queer reading series at Book Show in the Highland Park neighborhood.