Rukmini

Allah i got dumped

who is listening to this 
song, sometimes opening
that channel on radio to only hear
voices of men singing  
only women

walking through desserts 
of foreign flowers crowding 
streets full of action
dodging those grey-blue petals
falling on me endlessly
peppering already white 
black 
sequences

don’t bother hiding those 
bitter cries in divided rooms
better if you can pray
instead but which room will you 
now find me in

i will trace you with 
those slippers you keep forgetting
since i cannot
write poetry to help glance at your
moon face Allah hasn’t given
any permission to extract that
perfume from your presence yet

change of scene would mean 
arid lands of a tomorrow 
becoming dusty and bleak only
fragrance of plastic burning skin
those infinite lands can
give the blessing to become
one with the dump
landfills garbage
but this time not 
to sprout a new seeking 
to remain within earth of 
lowest quality of most
barren places reached by me

Allah my dump went on
for years or it felt like that
to come and really pester
me and let go of that 
old mansion with floors
of imagination and expectations
shattering great women
to the grand submission 
finally looks and smells too
good to be true and gone forever

your voice floating 
from some other side of disappointment
like a bakery on the side
of winding roads leading to
small towns beside a huge mountain
coconuts and cream puffs 
will you come back to me you
wandering love
no ustads can bring back to me
you are going to remain thirsty inside 
my unfragrant tears vacuum packed

koyels slightly dying rotting inside and out 
even seeing that you will never travel to distant lands
and lover you will stay 
outside of a field i pray 
not to find you anymore in front
just beside me when no one will adore
my ankles or my diminishing curves
scratching your dark skin 
just beside me unlike Allah 
how else do i call out to your heart?
how else?

when we sat in triangles
refuge was bordering us 
our names circling us
our lives kidding us 
just the perfect combination 
to call upon one who doesn’t belong
one who cannot be real
one who is by definition 
among the heartiest and loneliest


Rukmini is person who sometimes wants to be AI who sometimes wants to be person. She is interested in landscapes, cityscapes, bodyscapes. She writes poetry only when she feels like a Queen.