On Redaction as Romantic Gesture

Redaction #1

I am confused,
I am a simple creature
Don’t worry, she says
I’ll erase that from the record
I had not been previously aware
of the existence of a record,
I reply

Redaction #2

She aches for life
and I cut it out
I’m on the floor drinking watery coffee
She bursts into the room screaming
Redacted

Redaction #3

What would you like to do
all morning, I ask
Redacted, she says
I turn my head

Redaction #4

I wish I knew what I meant
more clearly, she says
Redacted, I respond

Redaction #5

Would you like to comment
on my ugliness? I say
No, she responds

Redaction #6

I wish there was something
after language, she says
I never get to say quite what I mean
Touch, I offer
But if I get that wrong, there is
no way to strike it through,
this is why we stick to writing
letters
I nod my head

Redaction #7

Do you remember being by the high school,
she asks
Yes, I say, You touched my redacted and I
felt redacted
I was as small as I had ever been

Redaction #8

Would you like to reveal everything,
she asks
There is a certain temptation inherent
to the morning, I like to call it nakedness
No, I respond,
She shakes her head, redacted

Redaction #9

Is it really over, I ask
Redacted, she responds
Even after all this, I still love you
In the places where I can
no longer offer kindness
I can still offer erasure, I say
Is that enough
I wish it were, she looks out

Redaction #10

I wish I knew what to do I say
I don’t think there is anything left
she says
We have just cut so much away

Nora Rose Tomas is a queer writer living in New York City. They are an MFA candidate at Columbia University. Their writing has appeared in Lavender Review, Mantis, Small Orange, and What are Birds? among others. They are currently working on a book about sensations. You can follow them on Instagram @dr_sappho.