Remind me to keep fluorescing freely. We
should never have to earn joy to prove our pain real.
13 was the year I learned staying home alone wasn’t cool.
The summer my innocence was moved onto the curb, I realized we
were textbook poor, and no one dared say so. Just left
me to fight through hormones and pimples and start high school
a freshman already fresh out of youthful naivete. We
got evicted three times in two years, so I can’t linger or lurk
with the idea of policing the lint in my pockets. Too late
to save or un-spend my way out of inherited lack—we
are who we are. If takeout or movie tickets strike
me out the running for struggle, say it straight
to my face. Say, we see you withering, but we
would never offer water or else you’ll sing
wolf, siren-cry suffering again and again. Isn’t it a sin
to judge and jury those in need? We
wear the patience of Job thin
with inflated egos, drunk on self-righteousness like gin.
You said it’s hard to believe a sob story behind a smile, but we
know better. Remember—I am free to fluoresce, dazzle, jam jazz
even while mining joy each moment. No dollar can dim sun in June
the way no deficit glares as brightly as we
do, refusing to relent to capital’s chasm, losing before we toss the die.
Any eyes unable to stand my smile and striving should avert—or go blind soon.