Jourden Sander

I Can Move My Organs

At least, one or two of them. I discovered this talent as a child. It didn’t come to me as a superpower or unnatural skill; I assumed it was just something people could do. I’d tell my friends that my stomach itched, and then would move my abdomen in a strange way, not quite rolling my stomach, but rather, moving something inside me.

My stomach “itched” when I was a child and it still does sometimes. I can’t describe it any other way—I suddenly get this odd feeling that makes me want to rip my bellybutton open and scratch each organ until they bleed. Well, I guess they’d already be bleeding at that point.

I don’t remember the first time I learned how to relieve the itch. It came naturally to me. I learned how to move two my organs against each other. I can’t be sure which organs I’m moving (I’ve looked at diagrams but am not a doctor and so had no idea which organ it could be) but I can picture it when I’m moving them. It’s a rubbing sensation, like the two body parts are bumping against each other. This creates a somewhat violent movement in my abdomen, which causes alarm to those too close to me.

Sometimes doing this for just a few seconds relives the itch. Other times doing this makes the itch worse, and I have to keep moving those organs against each other until I feel sick. It doesn’t hurt my stomach or abdomen, but it gives me acid reflux that surges into my throat. I’ve been getting acid reflux for years now, and I’m certain it has to do with my odd, itchy organs.

I’m so filled with these organs that I can control and move and I wonder if it’s killing me or if I’m twisting my organs into weird shapes and forcing them to move into corners where they don’t know how to live. I wonder if I’ll finally get a hole in throat from the acid reflux or if I’ll tear into my stomach with my hands, ridding myself of the itch, forever.

I could do that, but nah, that’d be weird. 


Jourden Sander is a bookseller and writer in Austin, TX. She writes just about anything from flash to poetry, short stories to creative nonfiction, and attempted novels to experimental prose. She’s been published a few places including The Fem, Five2One, Aviary Review, Maudlin House, the Austin International Poetry Festival 2015 anthology Di-Vêrsé-City, and others. She is the founder and EIC of the literary zine Feminine Inquiry. She's a gamer and an anime lover. She has a corgi named Kairi. She says hello! Follow her on twitter @jourdensander.